|dusty ding dong
||[May. 4th, 2006|10:47 am]
anyone still use this anymore?
or did everyone graduate to myspace whores?
I feel like i've aged a lot in the last year or two.. which sucks, but I also see a clearer pattern forming through all the chaos.. I feel change coming, which I usually thrive on, but I can't deny that the tinge of fear this time.
Generally, fear is lessening, which incites the fearful to do their best to put it back in you, to justify their own.
When they discover this lack of fear, they will do what they can to inspire it.
I've gotten to watch a beautiful human being grow, and continue to grow, and view the world with fresh eyes.. which has inspired me more than I could have imagined.
I experienced a great deal of mental stress and retained my sanity. I made it to the middle of nowhere, swam in the ocean and kissed a stingray. I've created beautiful things and observed many more. I'm still alive.
The structures are in place, there's no way to break them down and re-build the foundation anymore. Now comes the delicate balancing act of trying to keep them from toppling over..
When they do topple over, which they will, I'll realize they were only an illusion all along.
But I loved the illusion and I loved creating the structures, and maybe I could love watching them be destroyed.